by Konzo KO (Staff Writer)
Gonzo Series: Part 1
There I was in the alley of Los Globos with my friend Ana.
We were trying to sneak in to try to see one of our favorite bands ‘Subhumans.’ The show had been sold out for months, so of course, me having the bright idea of sneaking in, tried every conceivable way to get in.
We saw our opening! There a man came out to smoke and look for his friends and that was our chance! There was no security, no bouncers, only smokers and drinkers on the smoking deck trying to get a not so fresh breath of air.
The first act had just gone on and we were fine with that but after that we noticed the security guards were keeping a close eye on us. Did they know that we snuck in? Or were our outfits that cute they had to stare? I tried to push the paranoia to the back of my head, but I couldn’t help having a sinking feeling. So to push all those thoughts out of my mind, I started to drink from the alcohol I had snuck in. Drinks are expensive, so I had to. My fake ID was at home anyways. So we pushed ourselves as close to the stage to be immersed in the body of people gathered there to drink without a worry.
That’s when I knew we were being watched.
A security guard made beelined to us, pushing his way through with his flashlight, yelling. The next band had came on and no one could hear him, as they were to concentrated on the band playing and the mosh pit starting. Finally, freedom!
We can now watch and enjoy the show and our liquor! Oh how wrong I was, the security went to get back up with an extra 3 men on his heels. We hear him yell in our direction and that’s when I knew we were in trouble. He starts pointing to his wrist shouting, he looked like a mad man but as I stare around I see everyone with red paper bracelets. I thought to myself how can we be so unlucky! We’re we really in that much trouble? Is this over got us? Can we really not watch this bad we love? As he closes in on us with his evil henchmen I grab my best friend and run, run where? I had no idea! We had to get out! I run to the exit that leads to the smoking patio and there was one of the evil men that doesn’t want us to watch the show! I panicked and saw the bathroom and pushed my best friend in and shoved in behind her.
“WHAT’S GOING!” Ana shouted.
Finally, we could speak and hear each other so I began to explain but as I was getting into the details I noticed something strange, this bathroom doesn’t look like a women’s bathroom, IT WAS THE MEN’S! Thankfully it was empty but still we weren’t safe. I remember that the women’s bathroom was downstairs. We talked, and I caught her up with everything that she missed, yes she was drunk, so I had to explain it a few times.
Once she was caught up, she asked “well what are we going to do?”
I responded with, “unless you have some paper and a red marker and tape in your purse we have to stay in here.”
We were lucky enough to hear the music from the bathroom and we planned to stay in the restroom until our favorite band came on. We were drinking and having a jolly time on our own. Alas, our fun was short lived! We heard men getting close and we ran into one of the stalls. We heard a group of men come in and heard them pee. They were talking amongst themselves how great the band playing was and soon after the band stopped. Oh no! Doomed! We are DOOMED! That’s when all the guys at the show had to use the restroom, it’s always in between bands, and we just prayed no one had to poop and use the stalls. But like I said luck wasn’t on our side and sure enough they came on knocking. I put on the most manly voice and said “I’m taking a shit man” and either he was drunk or didn’t really care but somehow that worked!
Finally I can hear our band come on! That’s it were in the clear! We rushed out and rushed into the best place to be, the pit. Being in the pit you need to either be very drunk or have your wits. There are no rules and it’s just a free for all! No one gets mad you punched them in the arm or gut or face and everyone respects each other at the end of the day. If someone falls we all stop and help them up and block the, you never want to be stomped on, and continue pitting.
Just when it was getting good I see my evil men coming to us so we go on the other side of the pit, then again they try to follow but can’t. They come to our side and the same dance happens, we move to the other side. Midway through our bands set I suppose they gave up and we were in the clear! Finally!
The show ended, and I felt a tap on my shoulder, bruised and sweaty I turn around to see the security guard that I had been running from all night. He asked me for my red bracelet and laughed.
He said “damn you gave us all a run for our money! I knew the last band was on and after everything you went through I knew you deserved it”
His name was James, and he was one of the nicest people I had the privilege of being chased by.
Would I do it again? Without a doubt, IN A HEARTBEAT!